It’s mid-August. In Asheville, NC, it’s a moderately warm 70 degrees under the shady trees. Sweat drips down my back as I step gingerly across a rock-strewn trail, scrambling to keep up with my more athletic group. There are a total of 14 of us, including the 2 “guides”. I’ve signed up for a four-day Outward Bound course, wehre we strap on packs that weigh more than half of our body weight, and hike all day and into the night, sometimes finishing setting up camp after midnight. For even the most athletically trained, it’s going to be an extreme physical and mental challenge over the next few days.

By the end of day one, my calves ache, my head aches, I feel dirty; and I find myself calculating and recalculating the risk of having a helicopter make an emergency landing in the forest to pick me up and take me back to New York. On the first two days, it is nonstop backpacking. And on the third day, we strap on helmets and harnesses and ascended 90 feet against the rock faces of Pisgah National Park as we learn and practice our rock climbing technique.

Ok, so why exactly did I want to do this? I could list two reasons for initially signing up:

1. I wanted to get away from the city

And

2. I wanted to see what my limits were (for some strange reason)

So here’s what I actually learned:

When you’re rock climbing, and especially if you’re climbing in unknown territory, you want someone who knows what they’re doing to hold the end of your rope, or else the whole thing is really, really scary.

The heavy pack. Despite my misery when breaks ended and it was again time to swing it back on, I actually missed my pack when I came home and didn’t have to carry it around anymore. When I got back to New York and became busy with school and everything else the city has to offer, I suddenly felt so ungrounded and directionless. I learned that though the pack is heavy, it grounded me physically and reminded me of my purpose and goal that day in the woods. I felt more secure with it on my back. I realized that we all need something to ground us in the unfamiliar wilderness of this world, that reminds us constantly of our focus and goals each day.

Although it seemed that I accomplished nothing on the first few days of exhausting backpacking, by the last day, something had changed. I miraculously started feeling pretty proud of all that I had accomplished, and much stronger than before.

The New Testament says “My grace is enough; it’s all you need. My strength comes into its own in your weakness.” (2 Corinthians 12:9, Message) We need God to allow us to face our weaknesses and fears before we can come to Him as we are and ask for His help. Truly, the time we are at our weakest is when we can fully depend on Him. Taken out of my New York City comfort zone, in an unfamiliar forest, with a 70-pound pack strapped on my back, all I could do was to depend on God to survive and not fall off a cliff.

It also was interesting to see how everyone reacted when pushed to their absolute physical and mental limits on this trip. Some people whined. Some people blamed others. Some got quiet and meditative. I finally learned to cope by talking to God incessantly in my heart, because everyone else seemed to be in their own world; dealing with the wilderness on their own terms. We were a team, but grappling with our own issues in the best way we knew how.

I didn’t realize when I decided to take this trip that my short trip could be a metaphor for life in so many ways. I learned to depend on my creator God nonstop, and talk with Him when I felt uncertain. No wonder God tends to send people out into the wilderness when he has something important to teach them; or reveal about Himself. Even though I sent myself out into this wilderness journey, I learned so much about trusting God and taking risks in life. I am proud that a city girl who’s never camped outdoors could stay alive through this grueling trip. I even ran three miles at the end as part of a personal challenge(Ok, I walked some of it). I learned that it is when we are pushed to our absolute limits and are forced to turn to God for help that we come to know who He truly is.