By Elaine Tsui

Last year, after reading an article in People magazine about how a pastor was encouraging his congregation to spend 3 weeks without complaining, I became mildly intrigued. But soon after his story and mission quickly became broadcasted on such shows as the Today show, Oprah, and published in Newsweek, I was really interested. This anti-complaining thing seemed to be catching on with Americans. His website was selling out millions of the purple anti-complaining plastic bracelets. I figured if so many Americans were interested in this life-changing process, then I too wanted to give it a try. And just to make the whole thing more fun, I also encouraged several SEED members to do it along with me.

It would be interesting to think about what the world would be like if everyone stopped complaining, at least out loud, if this ever became possible. A crazy thought is how New Yorkers might be different, for instance (insert slight shudder here).

To try out the anti-complaining campaign sounded like a pretty hokey plan in actuality, especially in a place like NYU, where we are generally encouraged to be liberal, free-thinking, outspoken activists, ready to change the world, and not eager to be hushed up by some theory that we’d be better off if we didn’t complain out loud.

However, after reading the associated book by Will Bowen (yes, he even wrote a book!) which came out earlier this year, I realized that not complaining isn’t just about not complaining. It spans more than just trying to say the right things and exude positive, happy, energy all the time. Bowen, though being the pastor of Christ Church Unity in Kansas City, MO, deliberately presents the book and the problem in a non-religious, anyone-can-understand format. Without preaching to his audience, he discusses how ‘words are powerful’, and “when we change what we say, we begin to change our lives”. I learned that it’s not just a matter of sitting back and shutting up when we see something we have a problem with, but instead a matter of sitting back, rethinking the problem, and focusing our attention on fixing a solution. It’s a positive thinking, solution-finding strategy for living our lives.

So, getting back to the experiment, how did I do? I don’t know, because several months later, I’m still trying to complete the three-week course of no-complaining. I think I’ve lost the purple bracelet that I’m supposed to be wearing more times than I can count. However, I am strangely sensing some small changes in myself as I struggle with this challenge. Not that it’s turned me into this super positive, upbeat, happy person all the time; but that I’ve instead become a more focused, driven, and goal-oriented person who views setbacks as new opportunities. Scary. Who knew not complaining could do so much?

Complaint-Free Life: Quotes

When I first got the purple, rubber bracelet, I thought, “How pretty!” But less than twenty-four hours later, the pretty purple bracelet finally came off (ok, I ripped it off). I found it nearly IMPOSSIBLE and even rude NOT to complain when having normal conversation. It was truly eye-opening to see how deep my unthankful attitude runs. –YS, volunteer writer & chronic complainer

I managed to get through three weeks without verbalizing any complaints. This was easy for me because I don’t usually share my personal thoughts with people, but I still felt depressed because negative thoughts consumed me. -ling

I realized I complain about situations and people so often. I was busy with shifting the bracelet from left to right and right to left. And then I had to give up wearing it. -anonymous

When I received the purple bracelet, I was very excited. I would characterize myself as someone who does not complain. This was going to be very easy. Unfortunately, this experience didn’t last long because I started to complain about switching wrists if I happened to complain. -olga