By Matthew Chao

Its funny how I think about this stuff in my mind, as though the world is going to end or something, but here it is. As the end begins and therefore draws ever closer, I look back at my past years here at NYU and wonder, “What have I accomplished?” I remember that as I first entered NYU I thought, “I’m going to rock this place, I’m going to shake the very foundations upon which this school stands,” yet three years later I stand here, having accomplished little to nothing, having done nothing memorable, having not even caused a stir in the school, much less rocked its foundations. I think about all I’ve done, and sure, I’ve had a blast while I was here, but I realize that I have done nothing memorable here, nothing that the school will look at and never be able to forget and a little voice in the back of my head says, “Yeah, that’s right, it’s because you’re nothing special.” At first I struggled with the idea, I fought against it with everything in my being, denying that I am nothing special, insisting that I am unique and amazing by the standards upon which we judge each other, but as time passes, the truth sinks in; “It’s true, I’m nothing special,” which at first, sounds like something terrible, like something disheartening and trembling, shaking the very foundations upon which I stand. But then I widen my scope and I remember something: we all are nothing special. From the legendary filmmaker to the lowly film student, we all are nothing special; nothing we have done in this world is worth anything. The reason I feel as though I am something special, when I can see beyond myself enough to realize it, is because God has called me to be something special, not for my own glory but for His. Nothing I do in this world will be of significance, nothing I do here will be remembered for very long, even if I become famous and create the next “Citizen Cane”; none of that matters. What matters is what I do for God, and not for myself. It�s funny how often I struggle to simply be remembered, to become something special in the eyes of my peers, to become special through my own merits. It is a foolish and pointless struggle, no matter how often I try and how many more heads turn simply because there is a simpler and more productive method. God has called me to be special, to make heads turn, not for my glory but for His and all I have to do to be special is do what He has called me to do and serve Him, and immediately I become something special.